Wife qualifying - Round 1

I found this at http://www.bitchalicious.com and couldn't resist:

Here are 20 of the 343 questions that the church of scientology uses to question/interrogate new recruits…

• Have you driven anyone insane?
Ok, well, technically no...yeah, gonna stick with that

• Have you ever killed the wrong person?
Only because he was right in line with the one I was aiming at

• Is anybody looking for you?
Haha....you're shitting me right?

• Have you ever set a poor example?
Yes, and there's one time in particular I don't think I'll ever be able to apologize to my brother for

• Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
Hell no, I came because Earth Girl Are Easy

• Are you in hiding?
See the question above that asks if someone's looking for me.

• Have you systematically set up mysteries?
I'm not even sure what angle to take this question, but for some reason I wanna say yes.....

• Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
Whenever possible, and always on Thursdays

• Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
Can we switch this one around?

• Have you ever gone crazy?
I'll answer this as soon as someone tells when I was sane

• Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
Oh...there's no need

• Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
I can't think of it that way.....I loved him, things didn't work out......

• Have you ever smothered a baby?
Excuse me?....

• Do you deserve to have any friends?
Only good ones.....and not even some that I have

• Have you ever castrated anyone?
Metaphorically perhaps.

• Do you deserve to be enslaved?
Yes I'd love to be enslaved.....is someone there going to tie me up and whip me like a bad little girl? (this is a church?!?!)

• Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
Nope....but the other 323 have me a little nervous

• Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
Only on the weekends, never a weekday

• Have you ever zapped anyone?
Oh, I wish I knew what that was....sounds like something I would do

• Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
Not to my knowledge, but if I come across any I'll be sure to call you guys first

I wonder if they'd take me as a Scientologist.....how do you know what the right answer is? I honestly have to say that becoming a catholic sure looks lame now.