Which one is my ass and which is my elbow?

Wow, I 'm going to have to start renting out storage space for everything in my tiny brain these days. I'm hoping work is going to provide a modicum of distraction and provide tension release by simply having something completely un-related to my thoughts to focus on.
My first day today and one of my conversations honestly included me saying "You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing"
I'm going to love my new job.