$1,000 to be me for 2 days

Yes folks, you read that right. I'm offering you (or anyone you know) the chance to earn $1,000 by simply pretending to be me for 2 days. I don't care if we look alike, I don't care if you sound like me, if you make the same clever jokes, have the same winning personality.....sorry off topic. I leave for Harrison tomorrow morning with 'The Lesbian' and although this hadn't been bothering me over the last week since we seem to have come to a silent mutual agreement to never mention any of the things that have occurred, I have been having some nasty-assed dreams. I am seriously not looking forward to this trip. So here's my thinking-I'll pay someone else to go. It really won't be that hard, there are only 2 ladies and you will be traveling with medication if you need it. (oops, did I say that out loud? we don't do that!)

Ugh....never mind. I'll go but I won't like it. Or maybe I will, but I'm still looking for a new job!